


Whatever it is

by oxytocinless



Category: Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Cute Miles Morales, Ganke Lee Being Best Boy, M/M, Miles Morales Needs a Hug, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27506083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxytocinless/pseuds/oxytocinless
Summary: Being Spider-Man can suck at times, especially when that implies being kidnapped, putting one's friends in danger and going through traumatic events. But you know what sucks even more? Being Spider-Mananda teenager. Having to find a way to balance personal life and superhero life is hard enough without having to figure out what a guy actually feels about his best friend.
Relationships: Ganke Lee/Miles Morales
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I started reading Miles Morales, one of the first things I did was ship Miles with Ganke. They're cute, supportive of each other and the greatest friends the world has ever seen, why wouldn't they fall in love? Multiple characters even hint at this a few times!
> 
> So, when I realized that Marvel was never gonna give us the bisexual Miles Morales that we all need, I set out to find a good fanfic. I was disappointed how few Miles/Ganke fanfics there were! But then I read bothsexuals' fanfics (they're great, go check them out) and I found the inspiration to write my own.
> 
> This is my first fanfic ever that lasts more than a page (I'm usually more of a short story kind of writer) and english isn't even my first language. I only wrote it in english because I thought the Ao3 community was english only and I'm too lazy to rewrite it in spanish now. So please, forgive me if this isn't the greatest fanfic of all time. I would appreciate it if readers left comments about what I could do better, so I can improve this over time.
> 
> If you've read all of this, thanks! Enjoy the fanfic.

"Lay hands on me and your little Asian friend dies screaming."

The man's words – Kate's father's words – echo through my head painfully and I find myself stopping cold in my tracks, eyes nailed in horror to the little tablet he's holding. My dad, Ganke and even his mom are tied and left alone in dark rooms. Oh no. What do I do? If I don't do anything they'll definitely kill me, but if I try to escape... Oh God, what would Peter Parker do? I feel like I'm going to puke.

I turn to look at Kate, but she isn't there and I'm faced instead with my own body trapped in some sort of energy cube.

What the...

Oh. It's another nightmare.

I try to move, but my body refuses to respond. Before I can try anything else or even force myself to wake up, I feel a piercing, burning heat as a bunch of lasers start shooting at my body. My mind screams, but my throat is paralyzed. The pain – it's terrible. I can smell my own flesh burning, and it's sickening. Suddenly, it hits me – I'm dying. This is it, this time I'm _really_ going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it. Please, I don't wanna die. I don't...

I feel my consciousness starting to drift away, but then the lasers stop. I take a big gasp of air. Shit, I didn't even realize I couldn't breathe. What now? I try to focus again, and I realize I'm back in my body. Good, that's good. What's not good is what I'm looking at. A body – a dead body. It lies there, its limbs twisted, its eyes lifeless. Its face burned.

"Uncle Aaron..." I hear my own voice uttering, as if it wasn't even mine.

I try desperately to reach him, to do something, _anything_ , but the body starts decomposing slowly – the face falling apart, the body melting away like wax. It all melts, until nothing remains but clean white bones. But the horror doesn't stop there. The bones move slowly, rattling and contorting until the empty eye sockets look directly at me, right through my soul. Then the jaw unlocks and moves, and the skull talks, but not in my uncle's voice.

"This is... your fault..." Ganke's cold voice resonates in my ear.

I feel my own body shake awake, and when I come to myself I'm stuck to the ceiling. I must have jumped out of the bed or something, like... like some sort of defense mechanism. I take a deep breath and I let myself fall to the floor as quietly as possible, but my body fails me and I lose my footing as soon as I land. From the floor, I look at Ganke sleep. He's okay, I say to myself, trying to calm down. He's safe. As is dad, and his mom, and everyone else. I saved them. So why don't I feel like it? Why am I still trembling and sweating? Why?! I feel my mind about to start spiralling into madness, so I shake my head and take another breath. It's okay. I just need to – to freshen up. Yeah, that's it, that should help me feel better.

I leave the room and close the door gently to head to the bathroom. There, I open the faucet and let the water run for a while as I look in the mirror. My own reflection looks back at me, but it looks nothing like me.

"Man, I look like shit..." I mutter. I don't get it. I'm a superhero, I'm _Spider-Man_ , like Peter Parker was. Nothing seemed to ever faze Peter Parker, and yet here _I_ am, scared shitless and unable to sleep without having nightmares. Is this what being a superhero means? Do the rest of them have to deal with these things too? No way, I can't even imagine Captain America having a nightmare.

I splash some cold water on my face and decide to head back to the roop to try and get some sleep. When I open the door, however, I'm greeted with light. I look at Ganke's bed and realize he's awake and looking at me.

"Hey, dude. You okay?" he asks, half-asleep.

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, I just had to go to the bathroom." I try to crack a smile as I lie, and I feel like shit for it. Here I was, just a few days ago, arguing with Ganke about being honest and telling the truth, and now I'm lying to _him_. But I can't have him worrying over me any more than usual. Besides, look at how it worked out when I decided to be honest with Kate.

"Are... you sure? You aren't looking so hot, man" he insists, with eyes full of pity. He's been looking at me like that ever since all the Hydra madness. "Is is because of Kate?"

I don't know why, but as soon as he mentions the name, something clicks inside of me. It's instantaneous and visceral, like it's eating at me from the inside. I feel my bood boiling, and I can't even try to suppress it.

"What? About _Kate_? Dude, I don't even care about Kate!" Why am I screming? "I went through... I went through fucking hell back there and you think I can't sleep because I'm sad I had to break up with her?!" Why is this making me mad? "Do you– Do you even realize how close I was to dying? How close _you_ were to dying?" Why am I screaming at my best friend?!

I stand there for a second, looking at Ganke, who looks back at me in what seems to be a mix of astonishment, confusion and pain.

"Miles, I..."

"No, I– I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out at you" I apologize, and I feel like I'm about to cry, so I turn around and pretend to check if the door is locked. "I'm just... I'm so frustrated and so mad at myself."

"At yourself? Miles, you _saved_ me. Kate's parents were Hydra, and that's on them."

"I know, but... I don't know, Peter Parker made this seem so easy" I admit quietly as I walk to my bed. I'm going to climb to it, but Ganke quickly makes room for me in his, so I sit on its edge, burying my face in my hands and allowing myself to break a little. "I don't know what I'm doing, Ganke. I thought I did. Even after my mom's death, I managed to come back, but this... this is too much. I can't lokse my father too. Or you."

I feel Ganke moving closer, and he leans on my shoulder as he wraps an arm around me in what's almost like a hug, which makes my heart skip a beat for some reason. It also makes me feel a little better. Man, I'm such and idiot... It wasn't pity in his eyes, it was worry.

"Dude, you don't have to carry this all by yourself" he says softly. "I was the one that kept pushing you into being Spider-Man, so this is my responsability too. And you know what, I would still do it again."

"What? Ganke, you could have died because of me!"

"No, I could have died because of Hydra. Look, when I woke up and I realized what was happening, I wasn't afraid or scared. Well, okay, maybe I panicked a bit at first. But then I calmed down, because I _knew_ you'd come save me."

"Ganke, I could have been late. I could have fucked things up."

"No, you couldn't."

I look at him and I see that he's telling the truth, that he really believes that much in me. Which makes me feel better, because when has Ganke been wrong? But also... I'm just a kid. Maybe I'm not cut out for playing hero.

"I... I don't know... Maybe I need to sleep on this. I can still get a few hours of sleep."

"Orrr you could use that time to study. We still have that test in a few days."

Oh, fuck me.

"Shit. I completely forgot about the test..." I moan.

"I know" Ganke grinned. "Don't worry, I'll help you study when you're not busy saving the world."

"Thanks, man, you're a hero. I really don't know what I'd do without you." I give him a friendly punch to the shoulder and I stand up to climb to my bed, but he grabs my shirt.

"What?"

"Dude, you still have a while. Chill."

"Ganke, it's late and–" I start to argue, but when I look at him, he's sitting in a side of the bed, making space for me.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking to sleep with you" he says jokingly. "But you haven't stopped since what happened with Kate's parents, and I _know_ you've been having nightmares every night. Let me just get my PSP and let's play something, take some time to relax." I look at him and then at my bed. I still should try to sleep... "Come on, just a little while. Please?"

Oh man, am I gonna regret this when I fall asleep in class tomorrow.

"You know I'm gonna kick your ass, right?" I grin as I sit down again.

"Bring it on, Spider-Boy!" he answers in an excited tone as he takes the console and boots it up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get to important stuff, I want to thank all of the people who have read the first chapter and either bookmarked it or sent kudos. At this moment, it has 100 hits, which I didn't expect at all. Especial shoutout to the person that commented to ask if I was going to keep writing, getting comments is so encouraging!
> 
> Now, about the chapter. I've rewritten this thing too many times, I've gone through three different concepts for this chapter and I only finished writing this one today. I've looked over it and polished it as I did with the previous one, but sorry if it isn't too great.
> 
> Finally, and this is important: I started thinking about this fic as I read the first issues, so I wrote the first chapter in the Ultimate universe. Normally, I'd like to ignore Ultimate End because of continuity issues, but I don't know much about that universe, so as of this chapter, we're in the 616. I'll be figuring out the details as I go along, but the main idea is that Miles' memories have been rewritten, so no mentions to Ultimate universe stuff. Obviously, Rio is back and all that.
> 
> That is all for this chapter. Enjoy the reading!

The longed-for weekend is finally here. Other guys my age hang out with their friends, stay home playing videogames or, in some weird cases, study. Me? I spend almost all my time swinging around in this smelly suit (I need to wash it more often!) making sure nothing crazy happens and puts at risk all those kids' precious weekend. Which, of couse, is impossible, because this is New York.

And why do I do this to myself? Because I'm Spider-Man! And that comes with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of second-guessing my choices in life every single day. Good news is I've been working through all of that thanks to Ganke, and... well, bad news is I'm still figuring things out. I'll get there, though. I hope. For now, I'm doing what I can. Which, today, involves patrolling Manhattan. According to the news, there's been a spike in crime around here this last week, so I figured I'd try to find what the hell is going on.

After a few hours of patrolling (and offering help to a blind guy that didn't need any near Hell's Kitchen), I zip a web to a rooftop and use it to propel myself up. As I land on it, I take out my phone to call Ganke.

"Hey, Ganke!" I say as soon as he picks up. "I've been swinging around for a while, but nothing yet. Any word from the news?"

"Nothing, really. I've been looking things up on Twitter, Reddit and Facebook too, just in case something goes down" he tells me, and I can hear him typing through the phone. "Do you know what you need? A phone in your mask. Like the big ones, like Iron Man. That way I could call you when I have some information, instead of you having to call me a lot of times."

"That would be so cool! But we're kids, we don't have any money."

"I know, I know. But a man can dream."

"A kid" I correct him.

"Whatever! You're a kid too, and you call yourself Spider-Man."

"Point taken."

"Wait a minute" he says, and he types some more. "I think there's something going on. Where are you right now?"

"Upper West Side."

"Good. Someone is robbing a bank in Harlem, so you shouldn't be too far. I don't have the address."

"Okay, it's time to follow the trail of people running away and beat up some bad guys. I'll call you later!"

"Be careful!"

I hang up and jump off the building. I dive for a few seconds to catch some momentum before start swinging – no time to enjoy the ride. I move as fast as I can, almost flying between buildings. It doesn't take me too much time to see a bunch of people running, and I double my efforts. Soon, I identify the bank. It's surrounded by police cars, so that part was easy.

Okay, I should play it smart. For now, I'll go in in camo-mode. I enter as quietly as I possibly can and look around. There are a lot of people, probably hostages, lined up and kneeling in front of a wall. While two men watch them, a woman is behind the counters, trying to open the vault. Doesn't seem like anyone else is here. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I only have one shot at this. I fuck up, the hostages die. You have this, Miles. Go.

I open my eyes and aim at the two men as I shoot my webs. My heart pounds loudly, but I hit them, and I keep shooting to web them up. The hostages look around in confusion, and I see one of them opens his mouth, so I rush to him before he can say anything and I cover his mouth before becoming visible again.

"Keep quiet" I whisper to the group. All of them look at me, scared. "The woman is busy and she can't see us from behind the counters" I explain. They look at each other, undecided, but finally nod and start walking to the exit.

I jump and stick to the ceiling as they escape, waiting until the last of them is outside. That was easier than expected, but my heart hasn't calmed down still. It doesn't matter, now comes the easier part. I just have to do _this_ –

"Hey!" I yell at the woman as I jump to her. "Have you tried working instead? I hear it usually pays money!" I try to kick her away from the vault, but she quickly avoids me by hunching over. I knew I shoudn't have yelled.

"Spider-Man!" She moves almost as quickly as me, throwing a punch upwards, which I'm able to dodge just in the nick of time thanks to my spider-sense. I really need to focus. And to keep my distance. She's too fast for close range combat.

"Ow, how did you know? Did my mask give it away? Or is it the webs?" I try to keep her distracted as I leap away and shoot a web at her arm to web it to the wall. But as I shoot, she waves her arm and burns through the web with a glow.

"What the–?!" How did she do that? That should be impossible!

"Surprised, Spider? As you can see, you and your hero friends aren't the only ones with access to these things!" She raises her arm proudly, and that's when I finally notice she's wearing some kind of metallic glove. 

Where did she even get something like that?! Why didn't I see it earlier? She's dangerous! The hostages are lucky they didn't make any sound. I should have paid more attention!

My thoughts come to a stop when she shoots a beam in my direction with the glove-weapon-thing. I quickly zip a web to a bench and throw it against the beam, which – luckily for me – works. Okay, no time to panic. Time for a new plan.

"Surprised? Maybe. Scared? Not much!" I mock her as I shoot another web at her. She use the gauntlet to burn through it again, but that gives me enough time to dash at her and punch her in the face, which throws her to the ground. She manages to roll with the blow and get back up, aiming at me.

"Easy now, kid, if you don't want to get blown into pieces" she grunts menacingly.

"Hold that thought" I say as casually as I can, jumping away to keep her trying to aim. Three... two... one... "It just takes a moment to kick in!"

"UGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" the woman groans as she collapses to the floor.

"Yeah, uh, just be mindful of my venom punch next time, lady" I mention, walking to her convulsive body and crouching to take a look at the gauntlet. Now that I see it up close, I'd swear I've seen it somewhere before, but I can't remember where. "Now, where did you get–"

BLAM!

I jump, startled, as I look to the door. Oh, fuck me. A bunch of cops come in, pointing their guns at me.

"Put your hands up, Spider-Man!"

This day _can't_ get any worse, can it?

"Hey, wait, I stopped the robbery!" I defend myself as I back off from the woman.

"We're just making our job, son" says one of them. "And this is our job, not yours, so we're gonna need you to take off that mask and–"

"I'm not the criminal here! Why are you treating me like one?" I want to keep screaming about how I've had enough of having to go through this even when I'm not wearing the mask, but I restrain myself. The last thing I need is the cops going after me for being Spider-Man _and_ black.

"As long as you're swinging around with that mask on like a vigilante, you _are_ a criminal!" another one of them shouts, and my spider-sense go off, but I don't need it to tell me he's about to shoot.

I turn to look at the cop and get ready to dodge the bullet, but before I can do anything, all hell breaks loose. I feel a sharp pain on my side and, almost at the same time, something explodes above us, right before part of the ceiling starts to collapse. In just a second, everything starts coming down, and I can barely react. 

"No!" I scream without even realizing, and I move in pure instinct, shooting web after web to keep the debris from crushing the cops as they run from the building. Throuh the corner of my eye, I see the thief running to free her partners from the webs. 

Shit, so it was _her_ my spider-sense was warning me about, not the cops! I try to shoot a web at her as she runs away, but I only manage to hit her hand. I start to run after her, but I've only taken a couple of steps when a rasp voice stops me. 

"Spider-Man!" I look behind me, through the cloud of dust. One of the webs has broken, letting loose a pile of rubble that has trapped a cop. The one who was about to shoot me. I look at the woman getting away, and two thoughts cross my mind. 

I could still catch her. But it was my fault this happened. He was going to shoot me, I don't owe him anything. I should have been paying more attention! 

I sigh and crouch down to lift a huge chunk of what's left of the ceiling. My left side starts to hurt immediately, but I don't give up. It doesn't matter if it's my fault or not. I _have_ to help him. 

The man starts to drag himself out of there, but the pain is killing me. The muscles are burning. I need to keep holding. I'm starting to lose my grip. Please, don't fall yet. Don't. Fall. Just a little longer– 

The cop manages to pull his legs out, and I finally let go, panting. 

"Tell me... Tell me you're the only one that got caught on that..." I almost beg him, struggling to catch my breath. 

"I... I think so... Everyone went out while you webbed the ceiling, only I stayed to– to arrest you." 

"Still going to do that?" Please, say no. I don't think I have the energy to resist. 

"... Can't do it if you're already gone." He nods toward the street. 

"I... Thanks" I mutter. 

He doesn't answer, so I drag my feet to the window. On the way, I see the woman's gauntlet on the floor. Right, I must have yanked it out of his hand when I tried to stop her. I take it with me and go outside. I lean against the wall and drop slowly to the ground. 

Well. That went... terribly. No one died, though. And I have the weapon, so assuming that woman doesn't have like a thousand of these, she's at least less dangerous now. Maybe she won't even try to commit another crime after today! As Ganke said, a man can dream. A kid. I don't feel like a man right now. 

I end up staying on that alleyway for a while, until I finally feel good enough to swing, and I decide what I should do now. I web together a backpack to wear the weapon with me, and after a long while of awkward and slightly painful swinging, I arrive at Ganke's house. I stick to the wall and look through the window. He's doing something on his computer, wearing only his boxers. 

I knock against the window, and he runs to open it and help me crawl inside. 

"Miles! Are you okay?" he asks as his eyes scan my body hastily in search of any injury. 

"I'm okay, don't worry. Just weak. And keep it down, we don't want your mom to come" I calm him down as I sit on his bed, taking off the mask. 

"Yeah. Right, sorry. I just– What happened?" he asks in a worried tone. 

"I went to the bank. The robbers had some kind of... weapon thingy. They had this" I explain, taking the gauntlet and throwing it at him. He catches it in the air and looks at it. "I'm not sure what it is. I fought them and won, but then the cops came and told me to take off the mask. I argued with them, and that gave the thief time to recover. She shot a beam with the glove and the ceiling started coming down." 

"Oh my God" he says quietly, covering his mouth with his hand. 

"I had to help one of the cops, and the thieves escaped. I managed to snatch the gauntlet, though." 

"That's crazy! Are you okay?" he repeats. 

"Yeah, I think the beam grazed me, but don't worry. I heal faster, thanks to my spider-powers." 

"Okay, okay. Man, this thing is so cool, though. How did a regular criminal get her hands on this? It's really high tech!" He looks at it from different angles as he speaks. 

"I don't know, but that's why I came here. I think I've seen it before, and you're as big a superhero fan as I was before I became one." 

"Yeah, now that you say that... I think I've seen it too. It has to be from a supervillain, but I can't remember who. Shocker, maybe?" he asks, unconvinced. 

"Dude, no way it's Shocker's! The guy doesn't shoot beams!" 

"Yeah, you're right. Oh!" he exclaims, and his face brightens. "Have you hears of Danika Hart?" 

"The youtuber?" I ask, confused. What does she have to do with anything? "Is this about how hot you think she is?" 

"No! She knows _a lot_ about superhero stuff, even more than me. Which kinda hurts my pride, to be honest. Uh, not because she's a girl. Girls are allowed to like superheroes too, I just–" 

"Ganke!" I cut him off. 

"Okay, okay, my point is that she knows a lot and she has a huge fanbase. I bet if we send her a picture of this, she could tell us what it is, or at least help us find someone that can!" 

"Oh my God. Ganke, you're a genius!" 

"Well, I did figure out how to make your web fluid" he brags as he takes his phone and the gauntlet to take a picture. "I'll send her an email right now." 

"Yeah, yeah. Could you do me a favor and put on some pants, though?" 

"Yeah, shouldn't be too hard" he answers as he goes get his clothes. 

"Are we talking about getting dressed or about the email?" 

"Oh, ha-ha. About the email" he rolls his eyes as he puts on his pants and sits down again. I look at him as he starts typing, and smile. This feels like when I was a regular kid and we could hang out in each other's place for hours. Man, I really miss those days. 

"Soooo. What's new on the regular dude world?" 

"Eh, you know. Playing games, helping my superhero best friend, nothing new. I'm stuck in this Super Mario level, so I decided to put it down for a while. I'll beat it, eventually." 

"I'm sure you will" I concur. 

"Anyway, the email has been officially–" he preses a key "– sent. I don't think she'll answer soon, though. Are you going out there again?" 

"Nah, not today. I should go home before my parents start to worry" I say as I get up. 

"Good, I don't want you getting hurt. More hurt." 

"Thanks, Ganke. I'll see you Monday." I give him a fist-bump and I open the window. 

"'Till monday, dude. Love you." 

"Love you too" I say, and I crawl out. 

On second thought, maybe being Spider-Man does come with a lot responsibilities and a lot of second-guessing, but all things considered, today wasn't that bad of a day. I saved some people, I got to hang out for a bit with Ganke... I just hope Danika answers soon. 


End file.
